Orgy of the dead
(aka A.C. Stephens' Orgy of the Dead)
Stephen C. Apostolof (1965, USA) Writing credits to Ed Wood (if you call that writing)
Cast: Brigitte Criswell, Fawn Silver, Pat Barrington, etc.. (the rest don't matter one least bit)
Plot:
John, a horror writer, drives with his wife Shirley in search of a cemetery to inspire him for his next horror story. The car crashes, the couple is ejected and lands right next to a cemetery (how convenient). There they are captured by the Master of the dark and his minions. And they (and us) are forced to watch "the orgy of the dead". From here it gets much simpler.
Mistress of the dark joins the Master. She summons a topless dancer. Dance for 5-10 min. Pointless babbling.
Rince & repeat x 8
Appreciation: 0/10 (my personnal worst of all time)
I've been thinking for a few hours of how I could start this critic, but perhaps the movie doesn't deserve so much thinking. I still can't believe my lovely gf made me watch the whole movie (because I had chosen the sucker..) It's horrible. Just too horrible. I think I deserve an award just for watching the whole thing.
The whole movie is so pointless it's unreal. How long can you watch topless girls dancing shaking their boobies before being bored out of your mind? Ok what do we have here.
-Plotless plot ever
-Bad dancing & boobies shaking
-Villains as un-convincing as they can get. The Master looks like Leslie Nielsen trying to be serious. The Mistress looks like the girl next door dressed in goth outfit. The mummy & wolfman have taken their costumes from a 1$ store.
-Worst daylight/nightlight effects you've ever seen (the movie is supposed to take place entirely during night).
-Pointless dialogues (did i just say dialogues? i don't think it qualifies as dialogues)
-More bad dancing
-Bad, I mean stinking bad acting
-Still more bad dancing (more than 75% of the movie [this is no joke] is devoted to watching topless girls dancing). Did I forget to say bad dancing?
-No orgy, no sex
-No horror
If you thought "Plan 9" sucked, think again! At least "Plan 9" or "Glen or Glenda" were entertaining. This one is just a waste of film and time. Past the first 5 minutes, the rest is just pure torture. How anyone could convince a producer to finance this movie is beyond my comprehension. Whoever the fuck said "hey! This movie sounds great! Let's make it!!" is a complete lunatic and should be forced to watch the movie non-stop for the rest of his life.
I would've said that this is a serious case of fast forwarding, but on second thought, it's best just to avoid it altogether. If you intended on seeing this movie, do yourself a favour and go to a strip club instead or if you have more money go see "Les Follies Bergères" in Paris.
In any case, I've probably talked to much about it than it deserved. If you still haven't taken my meaning, don't even see this movie if heavily under the influence of alcohol or other substances!!
Other suggestions: sorry my brain is just flat dead and hurting from watching this movie just now.
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